The innate drive to form emotional attachments with a few irreplaceable individuals is essential for physical, mental, and emotional health, ensuring survival and well-being.

Examples:

• Emotional attachments are wired into our genes as a survival mechanism, as described by John Bowlby and inspired by Charles Darwin’s theories on natural selection.
• Historical accounts, such as children in foundling homes dying from sadness or orphaned children suffering from emotional deprivation, highlight the critical need for emotional bonds.
• Married individuals generally live longer than their single peers due to the health benefits of close emotional connections.
• Loneliness increases the risk of heart attack and stroke, with emotional isolation posing a greater health risk than smoking or high blood pressure.

Where does this idea come from?

• Attachment theory
• Evolutionary psychology
• Behavioral studies on loneliness and health

What's similar to this idea?

• Emotional bonding for health and survival
• The importance of touch and contactThe importance of touch and contactPhysical closeness and warmth, particularly from a caregiver, provide a critical foundation for emotional regulation and attachment. Examples: * Children who can self-soothe often have mothers who are warmer and more responsive. * Unpredictable or dismissive caregiving leads to emotional dysregulation, as seen in angry or detached children. * Physical contact, such as holding or cuddling, helps foster emotional stability and security in children. Where does this idea come from? * Maternal A

What's opposite of this idea?

• Dependency as dysfunctionDependency as dysfunctionThe belief that healthy adults should be self-sufficient and that emotional dependency on others is a sign of weakness or dysfunction. Examples: * Emotional reliance in marriages was often labeled as "codependency" or "enmeshment," suggesting that such behavior was harmful to relationships. * Cultural and psychological views historically emphasized self-sufficiency, portraying emotional dependency as a flaw that led to failed marriages. * Terms like "fused" or "merged" were used to stigmatize
• Relationships between Adults with "Controlled Emotions"Relationships between Adults with "Controlled Emotions"The notion that emotions in relationships should be suppressed or controlled, with dependency on others seen as a sign of weakness or dysfunction. Examples: * Viewing emotional dependence in relationships as unhealthy, labeling individuals as “enmeshed” or “codependent.” * Advocating for self-sufficiency and emotional restraint as key to maintaining healthy adult relationships. * Therapists encouraging individuals to avoid emotional reliance on their partners. Where does this idea come from?
• Healthy love relationships are just rational bargainsHealthy love relationships are just rational bargainsThe perspective that love relationships are based on maximizing benefits and minimizing costs, treating relationships as transactional exchanges. Where does this idea come from? * Behavioral psychology * Economic theories of human relationships What's similar to this idea? * Tit-for-tat approach * Transactional relationships * Rational decision-making in partnerships “To some cold-blooded observers, love is a mutually beneficial alliance based on trading favors, a give-get bargain.” What'

Where does this idea lead to?

• The four behaviors that are basic to attachmentthe four behaviors that are basic to attachmentAttachment is characterized by behaviors that emphasize emotional and physical closeness, seeking comfort, and reliance on a partner for security and exploration. Examples: * Monitoring and maintaining emotional and physical closeness with a loved one. * Reaching out for comfort when feeling unsure, upset, or down. * Missing the person when apart. * Counting on the person to be there for support and security when facing challenges or exploring new opportunities. Where does this idea come fro
• Improved mental, emotional, and physical health
• The importance of quality in relationships, not just their presenceThe importance of quality in relationships, not just their presenceThe health and emotional benefits of relationships depend not just on their existence but on the quality of the connections within them. Examples: * People whose partners show love and support experience significantly fewer health issues, such as angina episodes, compared to those in emotionally distant relationships. * Women who have suffered a heart attack are three times more likely to experience another if their marriage is marked by discord. * Hostile criticism and conflict in relationsh
• Partners acting as buffers against stress, shock, and pain

Status: #idea
Tags: attachment, relationships, survival, connection, health

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References

Hold Me Tight by Dr Sue Johnson > Part One: A New Light on Love