The belief that healthy adults should be self-sufficient and that emotional dependency on others is a sign of weakness or dysfunction.

Examples:

• Emotional reliance in marriages was often labeled as "codependency" or "enmeshment," suggesting that such behavior was harmful to relationships.
• Cultural and psychological views historically emphasized self-sufficiency, portraying emotional dependency as a flaw that led to failed marriages.
• Terms like "fused" or "merged" were used to stigmatize close emotional bonds between partners.

Where does this idea come from?

• Traditional psychological views on independence
• Cultural norms promoting self-reliance
• Behavioral psychology focused on controlled emotions

What's similar to this idea?

• Relationships between Adults with "Controlled Emotions"Relationships between Adults with "Controlled Emotions"The notion that emotions in relationships should be suppressed or controlled, with dependency on others seen as a sign of weakness or dysfunction. Examples: * Viewing emotional dependence in relationships as unhealthy, labeling individuals as “enmeshed” or “codependent.” * Advocating for self-sufficiency and emotional restraint as key to maintaining healthy adult relationships. * Therapists encouraging individuals to avoid emotional reliance on their partners. Where does this idea come from?
• Self-sufficiency as a marker of maturity
• Avoidance of emotional dependency

What's opposite of this idea?

• Romantic love is all about attachment and emotional bondingRomantic love is all about attachment and emotional bondingRomantic love is driven by the innate need for safe emotional connections and reliable emotional comfort, deeply rooted in human evolution and attachment theory. Where does this idea come from? * Attachment theory * Evolutionary psychology What's similar to this idea? * Maternal Attachment theory * The human need for emotional safety * Connection as a survival mechanism What's opposite of this idea? * Healthy love relationships are just rational bargains * Relationships between Adults wit
• Connection as a survival mechanismConnection as a survival mechanismThe innate drive to form emotional attachments with a few irreplaceable individuals is essential for physical, mental, and emotional health, ensuring survival and well-being. Examples: * Emotional attachments are wired into our genes as a survival mechanism, as described by John Bowlby and inspired by Charles Darwin’s theories on natural selection. * Historical accounts, such as children in foundling homes dying from sadness or orphaned children suffering from emotional deprivation, highlight
• Effective dependency as a source of strength

Where does this idea lead to?

• Stigmatization of emotional dependency in relationships
• Challenges in forming deep emotional connections
• Misunderstanding the role of emotional bonds in healthy partnerships

Status: #idea
Tags: dependency, relationships, independence, emotional bonding, self-sufficiency

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References

Hold Me Tight by Dr Sue Johnson > Introduction